Let’s face it: When we started 2018, we set some resolutions, and now that we’ve launched into a new year (oh haiiii 2019!) and have been reflecting on our previous, we’re realizing we uh, didn’t really end up achieving those resolutions like we thought we would.
Here’s the thing about resolutions: They often come from a place of lack, guilt, and obligation. We feel there’s something we need to be doing better; that if we just engaged in X, Y, or Z, we’d be enough, we’d be happy, we’d feel whole; that there’s something we should be doing that we haven’t gotten ourselves to do yet.
It’s no wonder only 8% of people keep their New Year’s resolutions (Forbes)! When we set conditions for our self-love and happiness, i.e. “I’m going to lose 20 lbs this year - then I’ll feel better,” we affirm to ourselves that we aren’t enough just as we are - and that doesn’t feel good for anyone.
So how do we set ourselves up for success? Let me clue you in to a few secrets that will allow you to move toward your goals from a place of self-love, clarity, and beautiful inner worth:
YOU ARE ENOUGH:
Here’s the thing, doll: You. Are. Enough. You are enough exactly as you are, without changing a gosh-dang thing. Achieving goals from a place of self-love requires holding polarity - the idea that two opposing concepts can simultaneously be true. Concept One: You are enough as you are and don’t need to change a thing in your life! And - Concept Two - you will continue growing, changing, and stepping into a higher version of yourself as your life progresses.
So before you even set your goals for the year, I want you to sit in that truth. These goals aren’t going to change your value, my love. You already have that value. You get to work toward them, you get to nurture yourself, you get to step into your best self yet. These goals aren’t the key to your happiness and worth - they are going to highlight your beautiful soul with an even brighter light.
REPLACE “RESOLUTIONS” WITH “INTENTIONS":
Resolutions are these weighted ideals we set for ourselves at the beginning of each year. The reality is that we can engage in goal-setting and reevaluation anytime, and that if we move forward with softer intentions, we are more likely to achieve our goals because we’ve lessened the pressure of “having” to achieve these resolutions in order to feel successful.
So what does intention setting look like? Let’s walk through it, babe.
Now that you’ve gained clarity for your intentions, here are two key tips to continuing to work toward your goals!
Step into that version of yourself and watch him/her/them come to life!
Now that you know what it feels like to step into those goals, it’s time to break down the steps that will get you started on your journey from here to there. To create those steps, ask yourself these questions: What knowledge does that version of you have? What does your day-to-day life look like? What actions are you taking everyday to maintain that lifestyle?
Let's throw in an example from my own affirmations:
“I am so grateful for my sold-out national tour.”
I know that to achieve that, I would need to have a following across the country; a consistent online brand to maintain engagement between tour dates; I would need the knowledge of how to book venues outside of my local market; I would need merchandise and music recordings to share my message and music with my audiences.
This year, I’ve broken that down into smaller steps. I’ve never been on tour! To get to a hella awesome sold-out one, I first need to know if touring is something I actually love doing. So this summer, I’m going on my first one! (What city are you in? Holla at ya girl so I can let you know when I’m visiting you! https://www.instagram.com/hanakahnofficial/) I’ve broken down my tour into small increments I can act on each day: (1) Make a list of cities I’d like to travel to. (2) Create a map of the route I’ll take to get to each one. (3) Calculate the gas mileage so I can factor in my expenses.
These actions take at most an hour each, and by taking them each day, my tour goes from a fantasy dream to a reality I’ve created.
What small steps can you take now to move toward your goal(s) and follow your intentions? If you’re a hardcore #GoalGetter like me and sometimes focus a l’il bit too much on the end result, I have a fabulous recommendation for you:
Keep a checklist of all of these smaller tasks you accomplish each day. At the end of each month, look over that checklist and acknowledge & celebrate everything you’ve accomplished. At the beginning of December, I hadn’t started planning my tour at all. I now have all of my dates calculated for my East Coast segment and a breakdown of the travel time between each - and most importantly, I trust and believe that it is all coming together, and that I’m so worthy of doing the work to get there.
Happy 2019, babe! The best is yet to come.
1/7/2019 09:29:22 am
Great blog - very wise - my yoga teacher (the minister at Open Spirit) had the same advice about "intentions" rather than "resolutions" - she felt that intentions were softer and kinder to ourselves, that we could become too judgmental and down on ourselves if we don't fulfill our resolutions. Here's to a joyful and healthful 2019!
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