30 states, 11,180 miles and 65 days later, I find myself sitting at the table in my living room, a lit candle on the corner and a mug of tea right next to me, reminding me, “You Are Enough.” As light pours in through my east-facing windows (#manifested), I feel a sense of ease around the beautiful familiarity of home, and I begin to process and reflect on my takeaways from my first ever original music tour. Ready to dive in?
(1) THE TACTICAL.
Above: Drinking tea in Albuquerque, NM
(2) FEAR DOESN’T HAVE TO DRIVE YOU - BUT YOU DO NEED BOUNDARIES.
Before I left, people kept telling me to be afraid. I’m a small woman and I have a very eccentric energy. “People will take advantage of you if your heart is that open,” I was told. And yet, I couldn’t get myself to experience fear.
I did my research. I kept my valuables hidden; my car windows are tinted; and I was aware of which cities and districts had higher crime and assault rates. I was smart about it.
But I wasn’t afraid. When I step into fear around another person, I become smaller and reduce my naturally bold energy. Walking into these travels, I refused to accept the idea that the way to stay safe was by muting myself. I instead turned inward and chose to clarify my boundaries.
How do I best claim my power? Is there a point at which I need to leave a conversation, or assertively let someone know their language or behavior is crossing a line? What are the needs I need to fulfill to ensure I feel safe in my body? If I run into a situation I find triggering, how can I come back to myself once I’ve left the interaction?
Having the clarity to these questions provided me with ease: I could have held caution and anxiety around the people I met, waiting for a line to be crossed or waiting to become smaller in my discomfort. I was instead able to stay fully present in my interactions - even the ones that left my eyes rolling (seriously, why do some people think gross words will get them a date?) - knowing that no matter what, I can come back to my own safety and boundaries - and there is nothing I find more empowering than that.
Above: Being my badass loud-energy self on a rooftop in Kentucky
(3) CREATE FAMILIARITY.
On the road, there’s not much familiarity to be found. You’re in a different place every night, the weather changes, the environment changes, the popular foods change, you’re staying on a new couch and meeting new people - it is not what one would call settling.
Routine and familiarity are really important to me, and without a sense of external comfort, I had to spend some time navigating what it meant to create internal ease. I created a mini morning routine that involved two journals: a personal thoughts journal and a tour log. I kept my possessions as organized as possible in my car. I brought hand and ankle weights on the road so I could do a quick workout routine at rest stops. I looked up coffee and tea shops in each city so I could work and drink tea during down time.
There are definitely more elements I’ll incorporate next summer (packing a watch so I don’t have to check my phone in the morning; meditation; researching gym memberships). Overall, I know finding this connection within myself was one of the biggest factors in me navigating this journey healthily and with such joy.
Above: Journaling in the 114-degree weather of Phoenix, AZ
(4) YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
I mean okay, I straight up preach how Limitless we are. But man, the things we’re capable of sometimes completely blow my mind!
Going into this tour, I felt confident in the ways I would show up for my career, my self-care, my fitness, my music, my relationships - but I didn’t feel comfortable in my day-to-day life.
I was a hardcore avoider of errands and phone calls: I didn’t want to set up appointments, or call insurance, or pick up prescriptions, or take my car in for repairs, and I would procrastinate those types of tasks for as long as I could.
On the road, I had to face myself. I had to get oil changes and car washes. I had to fill prescriptions in CVS locations around the country. And beyond those smaller things that are now actually starting to feel less heavy and less burdensome, I had some pretty intense experiences that pushed me to show myself how capable I am of dealing with life shit all on my very own:
It wasn’t a question to me, when any of these events came up, that I could deal with it on my own. I snapped into Action mode and navigated the steps, phone calls, tactics, and anything else that needed navigating to move through each of these chapters.
Now, the idea that I could ever not handle something like that is crazy to me - but when I think about it, it was only two months ago that I was a version of me whose anxiety would have had her shutting down at the very idea of handling this alone.
Above: Last day of my travels at Liberty Farm in New Jersey!
Throughout this journey, I met myself where I was at during every single stage. This experience was ridden with learning and connection; with overwhelming beauty and extremely hard moments; with life-changing experiences and lifelong relationships. Thank you so, so much, my babes, for giving me a space to process and reflect on this with you.
If there is one thing you take away from this, I hope you feel and know how Limitless we are. This struggling, traumatized high school dropout built up her dream life - and is, most importantly, connected and full of inner peace. You can do this, my love. What are your dreams?
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